Bah! I can't keep doing this much longer. I think I am going to go crazy if I have to keep waiting. I want to talk to him about this, he is the one who I would normally talk about it. I wish I could tell him how I feel. I think he knows though. I don't know how much longer I can wait and hold on to my feelings. (I know this sounds desperate) I know we need to talk about some important things in person but I don't know if I can wait that long 4 weeks is an awfully long time. I feel torn and like I need to throw up my walls again. I don't want to have to do that, I have so enjoyed being me and being sociable for once. I think I shall talk to him tonight, if he's on line and in the mood to talk rather seriously. I can't get him off of my mind. Everything reminds me of him not matter how much I try to avoid those thoughts. Not much more can be done I suppose. Time to put up some walls, but not to recreate the whole fortress.