where did i lose myself this time. what did i do to deserve this self treatment. i dont know where i turned down the wrong path. i am not ready to do this. i cant do it any more. all i want to do is curl up and cry. and never have to walk this path again. i know that i will never pass this way more then once and i have to make the best of what faces me, but i cannot help but think that i can make a turn off up ahead and bypass this rocky time. i dont want to go back to school but i need to because i made the commitment. i dont want to go back to band but i made the commitment and i will see it through to the end. i just hope the rewards are equivilant to what i am putting this year. if not then i will have just nearly crippled myself and fucked myself over for the rest of my life. and i will probably never forget what i have accomplished but i feel like i am stuck in limbo and nothing can get me out except for some drastic change. come september that is what is going to happen i believe.