Another year come and gone. A time for reflecting on the past and looking forward to the future.
'08: A heartbreak or two. A trip into the States. Marching again. Surviving my first Stampede week with the Show Band. The Beatles. Finding love in an unexpected place. Discovering patience. Respecting myself. Learning to trust others, gradually. Becoming friends. Freedoms and their limitations. Learning to love and live at the same time. Learning how to relax and have fun and be productive at the same time.

'09: A trip to Europe. World Championships again. Continuing to love and to live and to learn. End of Marching Band career. A time for saving. A time for spending. A shifting year. Half way to graduation. 20. Who knows what else.

Resolutions:

• To be debt free by 12/31/09. Including all of tour, school and other debts.
  
• To have the start of a savings account for a house and a car.
• To allow myself to love and be loved with out any inhibitions.
• To ask questions and be able to get the knowledge I need to understand.
• To get no mark below a B- for Winter '09 semester.

It is with these resolutions of mine, I dive into the New Year head first. Happy New Year!

Things are going as well as I thought that they would. I have had no problems this year. everything is going well, from shopping to wrapping to just being with people. The only thing that is going wrong is that I feel like I am being left behind. Everywhere I look people are going about their business and I feel left behind in the dust. I keep pushing myself to do more and more everyday, while all I want to do is sit down with a good book and a pot of tea. I've been driving all over the city and just haven't taken a chance to sit down and have some Emily time. I don't know if I am ever going to get this chance. I have to practice, memorize, work on my English, do some French, see Nick, spend more time with Josh and all the while trying to keep everything running smoothly here. I hope to be able to take one day for myself this break, just one and all will be great. I am tempted to get some movies and lock myself in my room with cookies, tea and a pile of books for a day straight. No cell phone no msn, just me. Anyways, just a thought. I think that would be my ideal Christmas present this year. I think I shall plan that.

I think that everything in else is going well. Family seems to be here all the time, either coming or going, so I am baking or cooking all the time it seems. I don't know what else I can do with everyone in and out all the time. I have 10+ books calling my name right now. I think I am going to go and get some tea, a cookie or two and tackle the first one of them. TTYL

Well the semester has come to an end and the Christmas season is picking up. Today I had a total of 1 hour where I wasn't doing anything. That was my interlude between the two seasons. But I had fun shopping today, best date I've had in a long time. I think that this season is going to be simply magical, as all Christmas seasons should be. This one is finally looking up.

A Winter's Night

A Winter's Night
By Emily Chrysanthou

Sitting by the fire all aglow
Sitting in chairs made of snow,

Watching the stars so bright
As the embers take flight.

A beautiful night time show
Drifting to and fro

Fireworks add colour to the sight,
Giving dimension to the night.

Just as things start to look up another part falls down. So true in every aspect of life. I wish for once that things could go right. I feel torn between my best friend and my boy friend. Neither of which I want to give up, I just wish that the 3 of us could exist without conflict. Just as any two waves can occur together with minimal interference, adding a third creates a new dimension of interference and destroys and destroys resonance between the two waves. I wish I could make you understand.
I wish that people would listen to me and just maybe respect what I have to say, because I feel it needs to be said and that you should hear it, even if you disagree. I hate all this fighting and I wish you would let someone take care of you sometimes. You have your problems to and I think that you would be surprised by the number of people who care and understand. I wish you would respect yourself and maybe follow the expectations that you have of others.
It's ok to say that you can't deal with anymore. It's okay to step back and maybe go sit out for a while until you feel better and let someone take care of you for once instead of you taking care of the world.
All we want to do is help you, why won't you let us?

So, things have started to straighten themselves out majorly. I think that something serious changed last night and I realized that I don't have to do this alone, I can talk to someone about it and they will be there for me. I can trust as long as I recognize that they are not going to hurt me when I trust them. I can still smile, it won't kill me, just split my lip. I don't have to avoid being physically close to people, most of the time they don't bite. I learned a kiss does not have to be hard or forceful, they are wonderful when they are light and gentle. They carry more respect and emotions then the ones which are filled with raw desire. Just having a shoulder to lean on means so much and I must wonder what I have missed while isolating myself this past year. Age doesn't matter as long as it's with 3 years either way, it's maturity which counts. And similarity. Which is rather scary when you are so similar to each other, even your dogs look alike. And I wish that last night never had to end, it was an epiphany for me and I don't know how much he knows he help me heal last night. So much learned from a single movie and so much which occurred following the plot. One friend must always take care of another, for they would be lost without one another

Our life boats bumped into each other at the right time on this treacherous ocean... we can lash them together and make it through the storm...